~~~ Happy or not? ~~~

Reality and you are like two companions on a seesaw. If both of you are at similar weight, it will be fun. Should one or the other be much heavier, the balance is lost. A loss of balance between you, your expectations, your skills, your motivators on the one side and reality, tasks given to you, challenges from your work environment on the other side, will lead to dissatisfaction.

You have three basic choices to deal with this imbalance:

  • Accept your job and change how you view it.
  • Change yourself or change your responsibilities.
  • Leave your job and move to a different one.

Let’s look at these options in more detail.


~~~ Do more of what’s good ~~~

Your job might give you a great sense of purpose and you are highly motivated. Be conscious about which parts of your job you enjoy. Strive to do more of it and reduce distracting factors.

By making One Decision and following your desires you can get more of what you like, as Judith Wright show in her lovely book.
The audiobook The book

Happy today does not necessarily mean happy forever. Being in the same – good – situation for too long also leads to unhappiness. Being happy today shouldn’t stop you from thinking what you expect in two, five or ten years time. Complacency can become a cage for your dreams and your future. Enjoy today, but work on tomorrow.


~~~ 2 Tips to change what you are unhappy about ~~~

Most people will be reasonably happy with their job but not completely happy with certain aspects of it. There are common causes for unhappiness in our work environments like unclear priorities, dictated schedules, unclear responsibilities, too high/low expectations, too little decision latitude or unfulfilling activities. If there is anything specific that you are unhappy with, find out what it is.

1.Solve the problem - Don’t just accept the problem and don’t run to your boss first thing. First try to find a way to solve the source of your dissatisfaction. By accepting responsibility for solving the problem, you are empowering yourself. Conversely, by waiting for others, you are disempowering yourself. This holds true even if the source of your unhappiness is not caused by you. Think about options, involve others and try to solve the problem. For example, unclear project responsibilities? Talk to the team members and work it out amongst yourselves rather than running to your manager. Problem solved!

2.Talk to your employer - If you haven’t been able to solve the problem causing your unhappiness, try to come up with some suggestions and talk to your manager. It is she that generally can help best with specific issues. Some people find it difficult to talk to their boss about these topics. But it is likely that you are wrong in this respect. Most bosses assume that their staff are happy as long as they don’t say otherwise and willing to help, once they do know that you are unhappy with certain aspects of your job. If you don’t trust your boss with this, it may indicate a cause for dissatisfaction, and you need to think how to deal with this. The key to all of this is to be proactive




~~~ Accept your job, change how you view it ~~~

You can get to greater job satisfaction without changing anything about the job itself. A change in attitude, a change which part of your job you focus on, by changing expectations or how you deal with it can be all very powerful methods to gain motivation.

7 Tips to look differently at your job

1.Adjust expectations - Some people put themselves under enormous pressure to get the next promotion, a bigger bonus or other perks. Once they get it, they chase for the next best thing without ever being satisfied. You might have a job that many people would love to have, but do not enjoy because of unrealistic expectations you have set for yourself. Genuinely adjusting expectations can be liberating and trigger huge job satisfaction.

2.Clarifying priorities - Many people struggle to balance the daily demands of job, family, friends, social commitments and so on. Feeling overwhelmed can lead to unhappiness and can be primarily caused by yourself. Prioritise consciously and then act accordingly. You might find all of a sudden you enjoy your life and your job better.

3.Chose your attitude - Instead of complaining about the wet, smelly place they are in, the fishmongers of Pike Peak choose to make one customer happy at a time and themselves. Stephen Lundin’s “Fish” is a beautiful lesson about choices we all have. Get the audiobook or Get the book

4.Change of focus - The gratitude exercise in the section on “Positive or Negative Energy” can shift your focus to the positive parts of your job. This can make the difference between unhappy and happy.

5.Positive interactions - Bad interactions can turn the best job toxic. If you are facing issues with colleagues, have a look at the section on “Mastering Interactions.” Getting interactions right can get back the job you once loved.

6.Accept what’s acceptable - You might be happy overall but unhappy about some things that you can’t change. If it is not major and you can’t change it, an option is to consciously accept it as a price for the positive aspects of your job. Conscious and honest acceptance can be very powerful and leave negative feelings behind.

7.Master adversity - Sometimes we perceive setbacks out of proportion. This can be compounded by a negative company culture and missing leadership and support. The section on “Mastering adversity” teaches a technique to manage adversity so that you can focus again on the things you like about your job.

Studies have shown that it is often not the job, but how we view it that is the source of satisfaction. Applying some of these methods you may find that the cause for your dissatisfaction has been lying in yourself rather than your job.

The methods described above can be very powerful if done for the right motives. You might be inclined to accept a bad situation because all other options appear more difficult. This would be the wrong motive. Be honest to yourself. Talk to your family and friends and ask them for their honest opinion. Talking about these things openly will also compel you to be honest. If your motives are not the right ones, look and read further.




~~~ Change your job by changing yourself first ~~~

More than likely you are in your job because some time ago you have chosen your field. This is good in that it means you like your field of activity. Unhappiness can occur when you don’t have the opportunity to develop your skills anymore.

Professor Edward Deci, Co-founder of the Self-Determination theory, considers personal growth as an essential part of self-determination, hence of motivation.

Overnight you will be given a new skill that you will be great at. Which “One Skill” will it be? Make sure it benefits your company as well.

Achieving mastery in a skill relevant to your business can help achieving many of the satisfaction drivers we have listed in the exercise earlier this chapter such as, growth, achievement, autonomy, recognition, job security, influence, expertise. It is similar to a keystone habit in that it will trigger many consequent changes towards job happiness.

Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, one of the leading researchers on Positive Psychology, introduces the concept of “flow” or “being in the zone” that gives people a feeling of deep satisfaction.

Flow - We all know the feeling of flow when we are so immersed in a task that time seems to pass in the blink of an eye. Flow is a temporary balance of your task and your abilities. You need to stretch a bit to master the challenges, but once the task is accomplished you will feel great about it plus you become better at the skill you have used. It is like a good workout. Repeat this often enough and you get to mastery.

It is your own responsibility to improve your skills. Think about one skill relevant to your company, that you would enjoy becoming a master in. Now be proactive and identify opportunities, don’t wait for your manager but consult him. Find related activities that make you flow and contribute towards this skill.

The One Skill + Flow = Mastery = Motivation

Think TWIT

The one skill to master: Developing my staff.

What is it good for? Better people make the business better.

Identify opportunities: Establish a monthly training session.

Tasks that flow: Preparing training material, presenting it.

Autonomy, Mastery, Purpose - Daniel Pink considers these as essential contributors to motivation and gives many tips how to achieve it. He also presents motivational psychology in an engaging way in Daniel Pink – Drive.

Get the Audiobook or Get the Book

Enter the pain zone - Getting to mastery can be painful. You will need to take on increasing challenges. Make sure that the next task is always a bit bigger than the one before but still achievable. Manage your fear of failure. Work hard to achieve the tasks. If it was easy, everybody could do it, and it wouldn’t be mastery. Deserve to be a master! And then enjoy being one!




~~~ Change: Expand your boundaries ~~~

Responsibility - Increasing responsibility in your profession is another way to get to many satisfaction drivers such as growth, achievement, influence, recognition and more autonomy. More responsibility can also overcome feeling like a cog in a machine.

Being Richard Branson - The first step to more responsibility is to think you have more of it. Think and act like an entrepreneur; see your job as your own business, and try to achieve the best for it. See yourself as your boss, who needs and wants the best for his company. This can be very self-empowering. It will drive you to take more responsibility, feel less reliant on others and look at problems differently. For example:

  • If you were your own boss the buck would stop with you. So, don’t go to your boss with a problem. Always have the solution to it or at least some suggestions. Bosses love that!
  • Solve long-standing problems in your department and don’t join the over-crowded queue of people doing nothing about it.
  • Follow industry news/magazines find out how other companies solve problems that your company has and start doing something about it.

Be remarkable - Name one non-remarkable US-President? And now think of a remarkable person that you have recently come across. For example, a flight attendant, a waiter or check-out clerk. Regardless how high your job, you can be more or less remarkable. Seth Godin sees the key to expanding your boundaries and happiness in being remarkable. His books are a true source of inspiration
Seth Godin – The Linchpin The audiobook The book
Seth Godin – Poke the Box The audiobook The book

Look out for opportunities - When was the last time you took on a special assignment? New projects come up everyday. Be on the lookout and put your hand up when the next opportunity comes along. Even better, let your manager know that you would be interested in taking on additional responsibilities. Among other things:

  • Be approachable so that it’s easy for others, including your boss, to ask for your support.
  • Offer to stand in for your colleagues when they go on leave.
  • Offer more senior colleagues help and learn new things.
  • Look for opportunities in professional associations or non-profit organisations related to your job.
ALT summarises what you have to do
  • Assume a mindset of having more responsibility.
  • Look out for opportunities.
  • Take on some of the opportunities. 

Increased responsibility is not always the solution. But stagnation is always a guarantee for unhappiness. If you don’t expand your boundaries, they will shrink. More responsibility will open new opportunities.




~~~ Leave ~~~

If you have tried some of the approaches described earlier and still remain unhappy with your situation, changing your job is probably your best option. Depending on your industry, country and other factors, changing jobs is more or less difficult. Compare for example a casual retail employee to a highly specialised medical employee.

Admit that change is required - Doing a job only to earn money, a job where you are constantly looking forward to going home, is a waste of your life time, especially if there are alternatives. The uncertainty of changing jobs can cause fear. This is why many people stay in a job that they are unhappy with for a too long time. Pass this first barrier. Discuss your thoughts and feelings with your family and friends. People that have your genuine interest at heart will confirm your decision. Those who changed jobs commonly report that the fear is not justified and that they shouldn’t have waited that long.

Think options - Use all the thoughts and notes that you have compiled in the previous exercise to explore opportunities. There is a lot of guidance material on how to change a job. There are tests that can point out which types of jobs you could enjoy. Inform yourself, make a plan and start moving in that direction.

Taking responsibility for your own destiny is very self-empowering and motivating. Those are more powerful who take the thorny path and control their own destiny. Commit to your plan, it will leave doubts behind and release energy that you may have not felt for a long time. The emotional support of your family will help in time of uncertainty.

Once you set your plan in motion you will run into initial challenges. Don’t doubt yourself. Master your mind first, then master the challenges. See it like a going on a great vacation. You have to go through the pain of packing, getting to the airport, going through security, a long flight. But at the end you arrive at the tropical paradise. Visualise the positive end. What is your paradise?

All you need to do it to ATTAK
  • Admit you are in a dead end street and overcome inertia.
  • Think about your options and make a plan.
  • Take control of your destiny and commit to it.
  • Attack! Get started!.
  • Keep the positive end in mind and push through the hard times.

Tim Ferriss is ruthless and revolutionary in his ideas on how to break out of the confinements of your job and the conventional system in general. The New York Times’ #1 gives you a step-by-step guide on how to radically change your work.

Tim Ferriss – The 4 Hour Work Week
The audiobook The book

If you haven’t found your passion yet, remember, there is an infinite abundance of possibilities in today’s world. There is nothing to be unhappy about not yet having found your passion. Once you find the right thing, once you fully commit, you will be able to mobilise all your time and energy. Once you commit, you are guaranteed a great time.